What’s your personal reaction at the end of October when you realize the holidays are ‘just around the corner?’ Chances are if you are an adult you immediately feel a small jolt of holiday stress. If you’re a kid, you are making your list and excited for the magic to come.
The holidays are supposed to be a time to get together and celebrate with family members and close friends. Holiday Stress can far outweigh the fun any celebration may have to offer.
Stressful situations Caused by the Holidays
Here is the short list of things which increase stress levels during the holiday time of year.
- A mile long to-do list
- Spending time with people who can push our buttons
- Decorating (which may include competing with neighbors)
- Fighting your way through traffic and shoppers to find the greatest gift ever
- Holiday parties (planning, decor, food, dress, etc)
- Financial stress and the accumulation of credit card debt
- Eating beyond your jean’s capacity
- Family chaos and drama
Here are 8 Practical Tips for Reducing Holiday Stress
Don’t Give Away Your Joy
While you’re confronted with some negative family or friends over the holidays, don’t let them take away your joyful time.
Visualize joy as a precious stone in your hand. You have a choice. You can either hand it to the negative people and let them crush it or you can hold it tight and close to your heart.
This may mean you ignore other people’s attempts to take your joy or you just walk away from them. It’s your decision. Make the one that feels the best!
Eat Healthy Foods
Our Healthy food habits can be replaced by beautiful high sugar, high fat delicious unhealthy foods which are in front of you every way you turn. A bit of that probably won’t kill you but neither would eating some beautiful healthy foods.
Finding a way to sneak some healthy snacks on the beautifully decorated table is the best way to ensure you get some quality foods at your holiday party.
Stay physical
Finding time to keep up your regular exercise routine may be impossible. However, you may be able to keep up with your physical activity while getting your to-do list accomplished.
Be creative. Consider replacing your nightly walk with parking at the far end of the parking lot. Walk around more of the mall than necessary just to get a few more steps in.
Dancing to holiday music while decorating the tree may make up for the exercise class you missed. It may even be so fun that your family will join you.
Take care of yourself
I often have my clients monitor their stress levels regularly. As you’re waiting in line at the store, think to yourself “on a scale of 0 – 10, I am now at stress level of ?” Know that when you recognize you’re at a 7 or above, your self care action plan needs to be initiated.
Your action plan may include taking deep breaths, rethinking your unrealistic expectations of yourself, taking a winter walk, finding a quiet place to relax, or setting boundaries by executing the power of the word “no”.
Be the Bigger Person
Sometimes doing the ‘right thing’ feels like a big pill to swallow.
So… your mother-in-law knows you hate scarfs. However, every year she gives you one. This is called passive aggressive behavior and it’s awful to deal with.
There are plenty of ways to respond. You could give her something you know she hates (no). You could toss it to the side and give her a contrived thank you (no). Or, you can do the right thing. You can reframe the situation and tell yourself ‘at least she thought of me’.
Don’t give her the satisfaction of making you feel bad. Do the right thing and provide her with a genuine thank you. You’ll feel better for it because she wasn’t able to make you unhappy.
Seek Professional Help
Just because you’re struggling during the most wonderful time of the year does not mean you’re suffering from mental illness. The hustle and bustle of the holiday season can cause a lot of additional stress.
Sometimes we need someone to provide us with coping strategies. A therapist or clinical psychologist can help you manage and set expectations which are realistic.
Maybe you have a critical parent who will through insults your way all night. Maybe Uncle Bill will once again drink too much and become inappropriate. Let a professional help you be prepared for the social obligations you’ll be facing.
Ask for Help
I find that many of the holiday activities (decorating, buying and wrapping gifts, shopping, cooking etc.) are done by women. That’s not to say that there aren’t’ plenty of men who take on the heavy load as well.
Most of my female clients take it all upon themselves to do it all. Then they pay me to help them get through the stress of creating the perfect holiday.
Mostly I help them say the word ‘no’, manage their expectations and ask for help.
For instance, I have a client whose husband has 13 nieces and nephews. She has 8 nieces and nephews. She feels she’s in charge of buying gifts for all 21 of them. My suggestion to her is to have her husband buy for his family and she buy for her family.
In other words, ask for help. Make decorating the tree fun so the kids will get involved. Ask you mother to make her famous chocolate pie. Get your nieces involved in wrapping the gifts.
Getting the help you need is a good thing not a sign of weakness.
Stay organized
I’ve never been able to understand how some people can pull off a somewhat perfect holiday meal without advance preparation.
Staying organized can help keep you sane. Make a guest list, a shopping list, and a gift list. Making lists and checking them off can make you feel productive and avoid the anxiety of not knowing if everything was done as it should be.
Get rid of Guilt
There are years when I can buy my family members an expensive gift. Then there are other years, like this one, where very few gifts will be bought.
Understanding that we all have physical, emotional and financial limits will help relieve the guilt you may relate to the holidays. Times change and so do we.
Let yourself off the hook for not being able to do all you would like to do. Be grateful you can do as much as you do.
The holiday season can be a time of joy or a source of stress. Use the tips above to make your holidays as joyful and stress free as possible.
